How Love Gets Sabotaged

Are you tired of riding the rollercoaster of love? Is your love life a constant dance of two steps forward two steps backward? When it comes to dating and relationships, you are not alone. In fact there are over 50 million single women looking for love, and like you, many of them are frequent riders on this crazy ride. Unfortunately most of these women are tired of the constant up and downs and would love to get off the rollercoaster once and for all. There is an easy way to get off the rollercoaster of love. In fact it’s so easy it often gets overlooked. The next time in pulls into the station you simply have to do one thing….GET OFF! It’s that simple. But for some it's simple, but not easy. I promise you that the ride will end if you simply choose not to get back on. So the next time you think that the ride will be different if you try it just one more time, just make a decision to stay off.

One of the conundrums that I see single women make in their dating life is that no matter how much you say you want a great guy and a great relationship, your choices and decisions often say the opposite. It’s like complaining the whole time you are on the rollercoaster and then immediately getting back on and going for another ride. No matter how much you will say you want happiness you will do almost everything in your power to create misery in your love life. The problem is this happens at the subconscious level so most of the time you aren’t even aware you are doing it.

Now, I must warn you what I am about to share with you might cause you to get angry, in fact it might even piss you off a little. But the reason I share it with you is because if you are unknowingly sabotaging your love life, you will make it almost impossible to ever have the type of man and relationship you desire. It is my intention not to piss you off, but to wake you up to the insane behavior which is causing you to make things so much harder on yourself. I have noticed that if you have pattern of attracting men who make you unhappy, and relationships where you are unfulfilled, it is because you are unknowingly sabotaging your chance of finding and having the relationship you desire. In fact, if this has been your experience in your love life, I bet you have at least one of the three signs of self sabotage which are blocking your path to love.

1) You Pick the Wrong Guys – The first sign that you may be sabotaging your love life is that you pick guys who are wrong for you. You suffer from “Bad Boy Syndrome”. Have you ever dated or been in a relationship with a guy who treated you like dirt yet you kept chasing after him? Were you ever involved with a guy where you gave him all the POWER and as a result he dictated the rules of your relationship? Do you pick guys who can’t or won’t commit to you or who are emotionally unavailable? Yes, these guys might be exciting and unpredictable, they may even be mavericks between the sheets, but once the initial excitement wears and you settle into a routine, you often find yourself in a position that the challenging guy makes you miserable doesn’t he?

2) You Stay Too Long – The second way you are blocking your path to love is that you stay in unhappy relationships for too long. You know you should leave. You know you are not being treated with the love and respect you deserve, but you stay. You come up with every excuse and you rationalize and justify why it is ok for you to stay in a crappy relationship. You say things such as “it’ll get better”or “he will change” or “it’s not that bad” or “I can live with it” and my all time favorite “but I love him”. As if love is a justification for unhappiness. Love is simply a feeling, nothing more and nothing less. To make a relationship work there are other things that need to be in place. Things such as respect, honor, integrity, communication and compatibility. And I have news for you, if a guy really loves you (and you love him) all of these other things would be in place. When a guy really loves you he will respect you, he will honor you as a person, and he will treat you with the respect you deserve as a woman.

3) You Operate From Fear – The third way you unknowingly sabotage yourself is that you make choices and decisions form a place of fear. You're afraid that if you do what your gut is calling you to do you won’t be able to experience the life and relationship you desire. You know that if you confronted the things that bothered you or made you unhappy, you might have to make some tough decisions. So instead of speaking up and saying your peace you clam up and retreat back into your fear cave. You tend not to ask the important questions because you're afraid of finding out the truth. So instead of finding out the truth quickly you bury your head in the sand while ignoring all of the red flags that are flying in your face.

The biggest indicator of a fear mindset is when you are afraid of committing. You're afraid to willingly and openly give 100% of your heart to a man because he will hurt you the same way you have been hurt in the past. Your past heartache and frustration has caused you so much emotional pain that you unknowingly put up a wall to protect yourself from ever being hurt again. This unconscious defense may protect you from having your heart broken again, but unfortunately it creates a wall which even Superman can’t penetrate. This wall makes it impossible for you to have the love that you really desire. Getting your heart broken never feels good but and sometimes hurts like hell. But ask yourself what hurts more, putting up a wall and protecting your heart from being broken, or never finding and having the love and relationship you desire?

I know it’s not easy and it may take you having to confront some of the stuff from your past. But isn’t the prize worth it? A loving, happy and fulfilling relationship with the right person for the right reasons is THE GREATEST GIFT ON EARTH. There are no "love gods" who favor one person over the other. There is nothing that you could have done in this life that would deprive you of the greatest gift in life except for one thing…YOU! You can have it if you want it. But it is up to you to make it happen. Unfortunately if you have any of these three signs you will be making it much harder on yourself...

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