Being Too Comfortable In Your Relationship, Part 1

I sent out a tweet and posted a facebook status over the weekend that said “too many people get being in love confused with being comfortable”. There are times when I’ll scroll down and read my timeline and one liners will stop me in my tracks. After reading what I sent out over and over, that tweet and status was one of those times that I had to stop. Everything I will say in this blog today, I pretty much thought of within minutes of sending that quote. There should be a clear distinction made here. We could all be better off being reminded of this from time to time.

We are creatures of habit. It is natural to become comfortable in our relationships, or our situationships, but when you love someone, comfort and love can become synonymous. It can be synonymous in your thought process, but in reality it isn’t really synonymous at all. To be specific, when I mention being comfortable, I’m referring to being complacent. You should absolutely be comfortable with who you’re with, but being complacent with your partner is detrimental.

Love is an emotion, AND it's a verb too. Love and complacency can’t coexist for long. They always clash. How many times have you asked someone why they’re still with someone even when they’re not happy? They usually say they love their partner. When this is said, I’m quite sure one of the participants in the relationship aren’t being an active member. Think of how you are when you’re in love. All you want to do is make your partner happy. You’d like to make their day easier, see them smile. Case in point: last week, The One had an old twisted up water hose rolled up on the side of her house. It would leak out water even when it wasn't being used, causing the ground next to her house to stay damp. I noticed it, replaced it with a hose that I had, and her ground dried up almost immediately. She called me to thank me for replacing it, and I told her to remember that day because love makes thing happen.  

Love elicits action. This action should be mutual. Too many people stay in messed up situations because they’re comfortable. No acts of love are present anymore. Some people stay in these relationships for fear of starting over. People aren’t willing to be vulnerable to rejection again. To that point, I say you have a decision to make. You can always choose to stay in a lackluster relationship. I would like to challenge you to not live life simply going through the motions. When you’re in love, you should feel the most alive. If you’re not excited to be with who you’re with, and they don’t bring you the vitality you deserve, then you need to end things. Life is short. That means we need to minimize our disappointments and miscues.

Being complacent will leave you unfulfilled. You don’t deserve that. What we all deserve is to be able to smile until our face hurts as often as possible. There are too many other things in life that leave us bogged down, your partner should not be one of them. Today, at the beginning of the week, I challenge you to be the love you’d like to feel. Challenge your partner to do the same. If they’re not with it, then tell them you have two words for them...I’m out! Take control of your life and happiness because it’s really all you’ve got...

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