I’ve always been a fan of “girls night out” or “ladies night” or “no
men allowed”. For those of you who have been on another planet and are unfamiliar with the concept, as
the various names imply, these are nights dedicated to women of varying
relationship statuses hanging out with just their girlfriends. The
themes, attire, venues to celebrate and group sizes may vary, but undoubtedly if you’re a
man, at some point in your life you’ve been rebuffed by their sworn by
blood allegiance of “WE CAME TOGETHER, WE LEAVE TOGETHER!” In a phone conversation a couple of weeks ago, The One and I were talking, and she asked me if our son could sleep at my house while she had a girls night out. Although I had some pretty significant plans on this particular Saturday night myself, I cancelled them without a second thought because I support wholeheartedly her having a night with the girls. Our son is at the age now where sometimes its just good parenting to have a getaway. It has come to my attention that some men aren’t fans of the girls night out concept. In their mind, a
committed woman should never leave their man's side for longer than
15-minutes unless to cook, clean, or tend to the kids. According to
these men, a committed woman has no business having fun that isn’t
inspired by them and them alone while in a relationship. For these
reasons, and because this is flat out a stupid way of thinking, I decided to try
to persuade these men with five reasons for supporting girls night out.
#1 Women love trust - Most people agree that trust is the most important
trait to have in any relationship. You can’t build a strong relationship
without first having a strong foundation of trust. It’s easy
to trust someone when you’re monitoring their every move. True trust
involves believing that the person you’re with will not only be right
in your presence, but more importantly they’ll be right when you’re
not around. The only thing women love more than being able to completely
trust the man they’re with, is feeling like they’re equally trusted by
the man they love. Nothing demonstrates that trust like being ok with your woman hanging out with her friends without monitoring her on a pre-installed
GPS app, tracking her every move via FourSquare or texting her every
5-minutes to see what she’s doing. Of course, trust is hard to gain and
easy to lose but you shouldn’t have to treat your significant other like
she’s constantly on parole and one failed pee test away from going back
to prison on her third strike. Given the opportunity to breathe, most
women will tell you that confidence and trust in your relationship is
sexy, and these qualities actually strengthen your relationship and make
her want to be respectful of the trust you’ve given her.
#2 Win over her friends - Other than her parents, winning over a woman’s friends is one of the
smartest relationship investments you can make. Trust me, you don’t want
to date a girl whose friends hate you, because every chance they get,
they’re going to be in her ear telling her how she can do better than
you, trying endlessly to sabotage the relationship by making mountains
out of every molehill, trying to hook her up with “better” men and male
friends they know, and basically doing all within their power to make
your life a living hell. Friends aren’t looking to break-up your
relationship in one swift move; they’re in it for the long haul. For a
woman’s friends, it’s a war of attrition, so there’s really no point in
trying to fight it. It’s easier to just get them to like you. You can do
so by not being the guy that “steals” their friend away from them.
Within reason, you can draw the line. They don’t need to hit the bar every night, but if her friends are missing their wing-woman because you’re
too busy knocking her head into the headboard leaving her sore and
generally too dazed and confused to go out most weekends anymore, a
girls night out from time to time isn’t going to make or break your
relationship. These small investments in getting her friends to like you
will pay dividends when some idiot (or ex-boyfriend) tries to talk to
her when you’re not around. If her friends like you, they’ll be there to
throw the ultimate c-block for you. If they DIS-like you,
they’ll be the first ones trying to get his contact information and
share your woman’s Facebook and email with him, along with appropriate
times to call/text when you’re away at work. Men, winning the friends over is
simply the smarter route.
Sex - One of the best parts of girls night out is the fact that your woman is
almost guaranteed to drink. You might be saying to yourself, “self, why
would I want my woman drinking around other strange men? Isn’t that a
bad thing?” Clearly, you didn’t read reason #1 very well. If your woman
is trustworthy, then no amount of alcohol should make her
want any other man but you. In fact, those substances should only make
her want you more. She’s spending all night getting ready to come
home to you and do all of those things her parents warned her not to
do. You’re her man, you’re in a committed relationship, and you trusted
her enough to go out and enjoy herself like she ain't got no worries.
Trust me, all she’ll do is spend the night coming up with increasingly
crazier ways to thank you. I know a thing or two about a thing or three,
and this is a fact: no one is more appreciative than a slightly intoxicated, happy woman
coming home to a committed relationship. I'm just saying.
#4 Men in the bars/club are lame - One of the primary reasons you don’t have anything to worry about
when your woman is on a girls night out is the fact that the majority of
men are lame as hell. If you’re in a relationship long enough, it’s
inevitable that you might start to think “maybe the grass is greener on
the other side.” Well it's not, but it’s human nature to assume and your woman is no different. If
you repress her, she’ll start having visions of grandeur about how some
other man is just waiting on a bar stool somewhere to treat her better
and whisk her away on an island hopping adventure. That crap only
happens in romantic comedies and Disney movies, but unfortunately both
those mediums have been poisoning your woman’s mind since she was barely
able to crawl. That’s why every now and then, you have to be ok with her going
out into the world and remember how disgusting, idiotic, and generally
lame other single men are in reality. Single men are
idiots, and as far as keeping your woman happy and content in your
relationship, they’re your best 12th man. One night out in the real
world remembering that single men use pick-up lines that include the
phrase “struggle snuggle?” will have your woman running home thoroughly
traumatized and beyond grateful that she somehow found the one good man
available in the cesspool of single men left out there.
#5 Appreciation points - In all seriousness, giving your woman time to herself will always be appreciated. This is even appreciated all the more if she has kids. The One has our son during the weekdays, and to give her that break every once in a while with her girlfriends is a good thing. I'm a "glass half full", habitually optimistic, always a bright side thinker kind of guy. What I take away from The One asking me if I could take care of our son is that (uh, hello) SHE ASKED ME! Most women with children have a backup plan to the backup plan, and in most cases it doesn't include the father at all. That alone made me drop everything I wanted to do, so I can give her that time she needed. In most cases, some women don't go to the fathers because they are not interested in stepping up, or they consider it "babysitting". I believe The One knows I will do whatever is needed to help her decompress whenever I can. Some of these points that I made may be a little tongue-in-cheek, but the points of appreciation in a woman's mind will add up in a man's favor if this one is followed in particular...
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