What I am about to describe is something that plays out every single second of every single day. You may actually be experiencing it at this particular moment, or you have at one point and you've probably wondered why. When you hear the words "The 90 Day Rule", most people familiar with the term think about Steve Harvey's book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" and his take on not having sex with someone you're dating during the first 90 days of the relationship. This isn't about whether I agree with the rule or not, instead it's about what you're doing, or what you've done, or what you haven't done during that same 90 day time frame. Have you ever been involved in a relationship where it just went in the other direction, and you always think about what it was like the first three months? In the first three months of a relationship, you actually do things for the other person. You make nights special, you light candles for each other, make sure nights are romantic, and you make love for hours instead of minutes. You listen to the other person and you don't get angry because you have a history together.
If you ask a couple what they love about each other the most, a lot of them will say it's the way they treated each other during the first three months with unconditional love and romance, without any judgment. They will say it was the way they listened, touched and kissed during that first three month period. There was a survey online a little while back that asked women what they felt was lacking in their relationship. A lot of them said it was that their man didn't kiss them anymore the way he did the first 90 days they were together. Here's the deal, you fell in love with someone because of all the things they did. So why is it so hard to keep doing those things over and over and over again?
Why don't we just call it a groundhog relationship? That way we could repeat the first 90 days over and over again. That's four times a year that you need to repeat that cycle. You know how easy it is to make each other happy in relationships. We've all done it, and done it so naturally in the first 90 days. We did it with such a big heart and open mind, and we did it because we really care about making the other person feel amazing. So what stops us from doing it over and over again? Do we just take people for granted? Do we think that they will always be around? I don't know about you, but I'd love to live that 90 day beginning phase of a relationship over and over again. I think that time is magical and so special.
Think about it. What's so wrong with living in a magical place like that every single day? Oh sure, we can come up with a list of excuses for a lot of things, but you didn't make any excuses doing those first 90 days. Whatever the other person needed, you were there to provide it, perform it or protect it. You really need to think back to why you fell in love with the other person in the first place, and start doing those things over and over again. Otherwise complacent relationships continued to cycle, and you will continue to feel unsatisfied. You'll continue to search for something else, when in reality you already have exactly what you wanted right there in front of you. It's just that you might've lost it because you got lazy. I don't just write stories about things I don't know anything about. I've lived this story long enough to write about it myself...
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