There's a Reason Why He Won't Call You Back

My female friends often ask me, “what is it with men and their annoying habit of not calling back?" Women have grappled with this since the dawn of dating. I know it’s a constant source of frustration for anyone who’s had to deal with the Houdini types out there. At the risk of ratting out my fellow guys, I’m here to set the record straight about this no-calling-back business. Yeah, I know guys can be weird sometimes, but we don’t do it because we’re mean or get some kick out of it. If your guy is sending out those so-called “mixed signals”, it simply means he’s not ready to be in a serious relationship right now.

I know it sucks for me to say it like that, but that is what it essentially boils down to if he’s displaying inconsistent behavior. I’ve told my friends the same thing, and they often respond with, “he was warm and cuddly during our last date, it’s just that he hasn’t returned my calls, texts and emails in the last month”. And then I’d simply say, “that’s your answer right there”. No matter how sweet he was the last time you saw him, don’t wait up too long if he hasn’t made the effort to get back to you in the last couple of weeks or so. I mean, if he can get out of bed, walk about and basically do things for himself, he could certainly drop you a line if he really wanted to, but he didn’t, so life goes on. And I’m not saying your guy was a jerk (ok, maybe a little) or that there’s something wrong with you. It’s neither of those things. The spark of attraction was there, but there’s something that kept him from building that initial momentum.

There are some cases where a guy just came out of a long relationship and he’s not really sure what he wants to do with his life. Perhaps he was testing the waters, got more than he was looking for, and eventually decided that he wasn’t ready. Or maybe he’s got some personal stuff to sort out before he can focus on a serious relationship. Whatever it is, he disappeared on you because he didn’t have it in him to pursue the connection. Sad to say but guys aren’t as expressive with their feelings as women are, so don’t be surprised if he hasn’t explained why he pulled a Houdini on you. Let me tell you something about men: we love the thrill of pursuit. We’re hardwired to go after anything we truly want, be it a successful career, a fitter physique or a relationship. So I’m not going to make excuses for a man that tells himself “I like her, but…” This is a cop-out, and he knows it. Again, I’m not judging anyone here. All I’m saying is that you simply need to observe his ACTIONS if you really want to know where he stands. He doesn’t need to tell you a damn thing. And then I get the follow-up question from my friends: “what do I do now?” Simple, move forward and don’t look back!

Personally, I’m not a fan of being a victim of the stuff that life throws at you. Why waste your time on someone who clearly isn’t going to reciprocate your affection? It’s actually more attractive to care about yourself enough NOT to tolerate being taken for granted. The way I see it, torches can only be carried for so long. It's time to put your torch down and move on! If you’re afraid that you’ll never meet anyone as great as Mr. Disappearing Act, just remember that quality guys are everywhere if you know where to look. On second thought, you don’t have to look for them at all. When you focus on the other aspects of your life (e.g. your family, friends, career, etc.), you’re already building the social capital that will naturally put you in the position to meet other guys who won’t waste your time!

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