Five Ways to Clean Yourself Up For Love

Love is in the air and everyone seems to be waiting around for Cupid to shoot his arrow their way, but there is a dilemma that exists from those believing love doesn’t seem to last very long. Everyone is longing for that feeling of wholeness, completion and security combined to make one solid emotion…love! The question is are people really ready for it? I found myself looking for love before it was time and my heart got bruised. That bruise (more like a bullet wound) not only affected me, but it affected those that I would come in contact with along my journey. I was displaying characteristics of what I thought was love, only to find out in the end they were only snippets of lust, which were not strong enough to make up the real ingredients of love. Had I known what I have been so blessed to experience now, I would've prepared my life more for real love!

Why preparation you ask? Anything you plan on welcoming into your world permanently will need the proper preparation, don't you think? Let’s say you were bringing a new baby home, you definitely have to prepare your mind and home for that. Say you had new furniture coming in, you would arrange your household according to the furniture with hopes that it will blend in with what you already have. That is sort of how love is. In order to have that Keith Sweat "Make It Last Forever" kind of love, you have to clean house within yourself. Initiate a self-discovery by ridding yourself of all the bondage caused by your snippets of lust and literally have a clean heart. This isn’t something that happens overnight. It very well may take months, or years depending on how much you've endured along your journey.

1. First, make a list of all the things you felt hindered your past relationships. This way you will have a visual of what you need to work on to make this new love better!
2. Learn to take ownership! Take ownership of what it was you did to hurt the relationship as well as you hurting your mate. Remember, the blame game only makes you weak. The first step to strengthening yourself is to admit your faults and actually do something about it.
3. Find peace within yourself! When you are at peace and have order in your life, it allows you to think with a clear mind and to make wise decisions for your future.
4. Build yourself up to your own standards and beyond. We always say, “Oh I want a man/woman that offers this”, or “I’m not settling for less than that”, but how can you demand more from someone else than what you are willing to demand from yourself?
5. Lastly, but most importantly is learn how to love someone the way they want to be loved. People show love the way they would like to be loved, and one great way of finding out is to pay attention to your mate. While dating, ask questions and actually listen to the responses. Don’t just take what you want from the response, but actually listen to what they have to say. Take note of their body language when they talk about certain subjects. That gives you an idea of what makes them uncomfortable and what their comfort zone is.

Put time into yourself but don’t lose yourself in time. There is nothing wrong with having a past relationship, but live a little in your present and learn something about yourself so it makes it easier to know what you will and will not accept in a person. Now don’t get to the point of being so into yourself and your self-discovery, that you don’t allow other people to enter or appreciate what you have accomplished. Remember, while completing this self-discovery, try not to look at it as time wasted, look at it instead as time consumed...start cleaning!

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