Debating The 90 Day Rule

I can’t remember where I saw it, whether it was on Twitter or one of the blogs that I follow, but the topic was what a woman should think about a guy if he hasn’t tried to have sex with her in 90 days. Women were lined up ready to assassinate the man for waiting. If he wasn’t having sex with her, then he must be having sex with someone else. I had to throw out my relationship violation flag when they concluded: If a man waits 90 days to have sex with a woman, he’s cheating. If a woman waits 90 days to have sex with a man, she’s being wise.

What the hell??? Does that sound completely out of order to anybody other than me? Basically, this points out an inherent flaw in the birds and the bees. It comes down to the expectation that if a man is doing something seemingly respectful or nice, he must be up to no good. Not only is she thinking that he’s up to no good, but her friends are thinking it, her mama is thinking it, and her ex-boyfriend is in her ear telling her that he’s up to no good. It’s that line of thinking that makes a lot of men think it’s not worth it to be a good guy. 

I’ve always wondered where the skepticism in men comes from in women. Not only the skepticism, but the thought process behind believing that women generally possess better character traits than men. In this case, that it’s possible for women to be celibate for 90 days to ensure she’s making the right decision. However when men do it, they’re just waiting their time, while they get their fix from somewhere else. Here’s a theory; what if she doesn’t want to have sex with more than one guy at a time? Imagine that. Imagine if when a woman waited 90 days to have sex with a man he automatically thought, “Well you know how women are with their sexual partners, she's probably still doing somebody else.” Women would be flat out upset with men for thinking it. Moreover, I think I speak for a whole lot of people reading this when I say yes, it sometimes happens...but let’s move on. There are several reasons why a man might wait 90 days to have sex with a woman that don’t have a thing to do with him sleeping with other women:

1. He’s to the point in his life where he has grown from a boy to a man, and realizes that sex changes things.
   
2. He knows that once he sleeps with this woman, she’s going to consider him to be in a relationship and he’s not sure that he wants that.
   
3. He thinks that she might be "The One" and he doesn’t want to ruin it by having sex with her. 
   
   Random story: I actually did have sex early on with a woman once, and then after about two months she just stopped calling, texting and responding to messages. When I finally caught up with her and asked her why she disappeared she told me that she wanted to be in a relationship and didn’t want to just have sex with someone anymore. One problem, I actually really liked this woman. She didn’t know that, but she figured that since we had sex early on, that was all I wanted out of that situationship. Take from this random story whatever you want, but I’m just saying…

I guess the main point of the relationship lesson I’m stressing here is that it’s totally unfair for women to think that men are wolves in sheep’s clothing when they’re not trying to jump their bones from the beginning of the relationship. And the second point is just because a woman is waiting for 90 days to sleep with a man doesn’t mean that she’s innocent and making a wise decision; she might possibly be doing her dirt too. Who knows? Enjoy your weekend, party hard, drink responsibly, drive safely, tip your waitresses and be safe. Next week begins the my birthday week, so there will be plenty of interesting things to talk about next time...

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