What is this dating game, you ask? Well, you probably know it all too
well. It’s the game of “let’s see who can try to act like they care less
in order to get someone else to care more, and then take turns” game.
It’s the blurred line between how casual you are, and what title you
decide to designate to your romantic encounters. It’s so confusing that I
often lose track and I’m sure you do too. What's the reason for not
being able to be simple and honest? At this point, I just don't know anymore. You could just say,
“Hey, I think you’re really cute and I would like to get some coffee and
giggle awkwardly at our small talk, so I can spend some extra time
looking at your cute face.”
The reason it isn’t so easy is because we all play the dating game. Here are
a few ways to put down your cards and really look at the faces that
surround you without wearing your own poker face. In other words, how you can become a winner at the dating game...
#1 IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE, STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU DON'T - A closed mouth doesn't get fed, but you'd rather starve that tell someone how you really feel? The worst that could happen is they say they're not interested. If the person you like runs for the hills, ask yourself what was the point for investing any further emotion anyway?
#2 GO ON DATES - Dates aren’t an extinct practice. Going to the movies with someone
doesn’t mean you’re signing a marriage license. It’s for fun you guys, only fun.
#3 DON'T USE PAST RELATIONSHIPS AS A CRUTCH TO YOUR FEAR OF COMMITMENT - We have all had relationships that failed. If you use those problems
to justify your twisted actions in every future romantic encounter, you
will waste many potentially successful relationships.
#4 DON'T ALTER WHAT YOU WANT - If you want a relationship and someone else doesn’t, you don’t have to settle for
his or her sake. That would be like playing a board game without
getting to roll your own dice.
#5 STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK - The connotations that surround dating and relationships are so
blurred and disfigured at this point, you will drive yourself crazy
trying to figure out how to please everyone.
#6 QUIT USING PEOPLE - Don’t use others for the way they make you look to other people.
Don’t use them for physical reasons. Don’t use them because you’re
lonely. Just don’t use them. You use a mop to clean the floor. You use a match to start a fire. You don’t use human beings to satisfy your own needs.
#7 FIND OUT WHO PEOPLE ACTUALLY ARE - Go ahead; ask about their little sisters and whether they’re more
afraid of spiders or snakes. There’s nothing wrong with learning more
about people than the fact that they like wine and study
engineering.
#8 HAVE CHIVALRY AND RESPECT - As the age-old saying goes, always treat others as you wish to be
treated. No one deserves anything less than your utmost respect.
#9 STOP PLAYING WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS - If you know that you are dragging someone along for selfish
reasons, put yourself in his or her shoes and do the decent thing. Just
be honest, damn.
#10 STOP SETTLING - If you want that girl with the curly
hair who you
hardly know, go for it. You aren’t beneath anyone or anything; you can
have a dream and you are the largest obstacle standing in the way of it
actually happening. Stop feeling like you are limited to certain people;
you’ll only grow to be unsatisfied with that limited group.
#11 DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE CORNY - Just be you. If simple things like a “good morning” text or an
impromptu smoothie date is how you want to show interest in someone, go
for it. Be dorky and stop worrying about satisfying the status quo.
#12 TAKE IT SLOW - I know this one is difficult to grasp, but let’s be completely honest
about the fact that intimacy complicates things. Why add one more
complication before you can trust someone?
#13 DON'T TRY TO MAKE ANYONE JEALOUS - It will never lead the person to like you more. I’ll never understand
why we seem to think that it’s a viable option in any situation.
#14 LET GO OF ANY PRECONCEIVED EXPECTATIONS YOU HAVE FOR SOMEONE - Trust me, you really have no idea what you want and dismissing people
based upon your specific criteria could lead you to really miss out.
#15 DATING IS ABOUT LEARNING - It’s not about the best “hookup” or even necessarily about
handpicking your perfect life partner. Dating is for
learning about others and about yourself in a way that is fun and will
bring you happiness.
Treat others with respect and let them make you awkwardly giggle as
your heart flutters. Meet new people and their friends. Visit new places
and understand unique ideas and perspectives. Stop trying to navigate through it like a game that you can
manipulate to achieve the best outcome without much risk. Be simple, be
kind, be happy. We are responsible for making this more complicated than it needs to
be...
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