Let’s think about it... We all have some friends and while we love them
dearly we know that they’re kind of messed up. The secret is we’re not
telling them, it's just that we don’t want to hurt their feelings because we love them.
What happens next is that our friends keep going through life in and
out of relationships, some good and some bad, and nothing seems to
stick. The relationships that do stick are completely dysfunctional,
and you're certain they’re only in it because they’re afraid to be
single. Why don’t we just tell them what their flaws are? Why not just tell our friends the honest reasons why they can’t keep a relationship? Are
we all just going to act like it’s their problem and not ours? Even
despite the fact that each time they experience problems in their love
life they come to us?
I guess what spawned this thought process was that I have friends
both male and female who are struggling to find love and companionship. I
get in a lot of trouble for saying this because it’s a morbid thought
but some of them are running out of time. Running out of time doesn’t
necessarily mean that you’re getting too old to find someone. It could
very well mean that you’ve exhausted all your options and your
reputation is so shot that there’s little to no chance anyone is willing
to take a chance on you.
We all have these friends too. If you don’t have a friend like this
then you are that friend. I have a friend who is flat out crazy, and I
should probably tell her that, but you know what I do? I tell her that
she just hasn’t met the right guy for her yet and send her back out
there on the streets looking for love. I have a friend who is a bona-fide stage 5
creepazoid, and I should probably tell him to stop stalking the women he
dates, but you know what I do? I tell him that women aren't ready for the special kind of attentive love that you bring to the relationship. They both keep on doing the same things over and over again.
I guess what I’m saying is that we’re not helping anyone out by being
bad friends. I guess what I’m also saying is that if you’re single and
wondering why (something I think that people should spend less time
worrying and wondering about in the first place) then it’s probably a
good idea to blame your friends.
I can’t count the times that I have been asked by a friend, “How come
you didn’t tell me I was acting that way?” and the only response that I
have for them is “I figured you had to see it for yourself.” Or I count
the times that I finally could see what I was doing wrong and the
changes I needed to make and wondered why the people closest to me
didn’t point out these blatant flaws.
Friends, even the best of them let you live your life. They love you
for you, and that love prevents them from wanting to hurt your feelings or
go through any pain. That’s why we have to take upon ourselves to remind
our friends that if they’re really our best of friends, they won’t let
us fall victim to flaws that we can control. Our friends will be married
with families of their own one day, and we’ll still be kicking around rocks in
this dating world that’s going to hell. I think it’s time for us to make
a few phone calls to those beloved friends...
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