The Man That Men Need To Be (part 2)

Last time I blogged about part one of The Man That Men Need To Be, and the story of "Brian and Marie". After advising Brian prior to his latest counseling session, he sent me an email after his counseling session with Marie was over to let me know how things went. His message was brief.

“Hey, it was awesome! I felt so clear. I was just me, the way I wanted to be. I was on the edge of the couch and more engaged than ever before. When the time was right, I just spit it out. It was authentic, and I felt strong. For the first time ever the counselor was speechless! He looked kinda shocked. He looked at Marie and she just stared at me, no words. I actually felt bad for her and just wanted to hug her. We’re home now. All she has said since counseling was “wow, where has that guy been for the last six years.” I know what she meant, and it sucks, but I’m okay and plan to stay strong. I have no regrets for what I said. I guess we’ll find out how this all turns out before long, but man this sucks. I love this woman, and I'll keep you posted.”

I try to help men understand one important thing about their relationship: There is no such thing as "saving it". You can only create new stuff from this point forward, and you can only speak your truth. Be crystal clear about what you want and what you expect of yourself. You can only hold yourself accountable to the mindset and the non-negotiable values that will drive you as a man each day. Show up like this every day, everywhere, even in counseling sessions. It is this guy who gets to create the life and relationships he wants, and it is only this guy who stands a chance of reinventing his marriage.

All you can do is invite others to join you on your journey and lose all attachment to their choices. You do this by learning stuff nobody ever told you about the power of masculine confidence, clarity and optimism. You will be good either way and that’s the whole point. When you do this work you discover that your happiness is guaranteed no matter what other people choose to do with their lives.

Will there be sadness? There will be lots of it, but there will be lots of joy too. Both are needed to keep your journey authentic, assuming that’s what you want...

relationshiplessons.net