The Villain In Your Story

I want you to think about your story. I want you to think about something in your life that is disappointing you. Maybe it was a marriage that didn’t go the right way. Maybe it was a relationship that didn’t work out. It might have been something to do with your job. It might have been a business decision that you made a long time ago. It might have been something from your childhood. I want you to think about that while I ask you this: Who is the villain in your story?

Of all the situations above, is there somebody that you are blaming for that something that happened to you? A lot of people always have a bad guy in their story. Somebody that has abandoned or left you, or disappointed you, or maybe didn't give you that job, or the love that you wanted. There is a villain in so many people’s stories. People are always looking for somebody to blame for issues in their life. Be honest, do you do that? If you still do it, then you are not taking responsibility for your part in the story.

In every story, there is good and bad. There is evil as well as nice. In every single relationship that didn’t work out, you may have been wronged, but you made those decisions and you were an equal participant in that story. A lot of times when we spin the story, it’s always about how that person that left us, abandoned us, or disappointed us. They didn’t do what we needed, and we’re telling that story over and over again, which means that we have not evolved as much as we really think we have. In order to become evolved, you need to lose the villain in your story. You also need to realize that the villain in the story may have been you all along.

You decided to put the blame on somebody else so you can have an easy out. When you do that, you haven’t learned the lesson that was presented to you in that relationship. When you don’t learn the lesson that’s presented to you, you’re going to find the next relationship will have another villain. That villain will look different, but that villain is going to be a villain. People will always wrong you, leave you, abandon you, and disappoint you because you are setting yourself up for that.

So, take a look at the story above, the topic that resonated with you, then make a conscious decision to re-frame that story. Take equal ownership of being the villain in that story because relationships are a partnership, equal ownership, 50/50. When you start accepting your share of the responsibility, you’ll actually start to attract better people in your life. You’ll no longer be the villain in the story because you’ll realize that you were the equal partner. 

Can you change your story in order to evolve?