Thursday, January 17, 2013

Applying Business Skills In Your Dating

Ladies, do you follow up with the men you meet? You're a successful woman, maybe you are an entrepreneur, work at a corporate job or for a small business owner. Whatever your work situation, you have valuable business skills and know how to make things happen. You also know how to network and meet new people. Even if it’s not the most comfortable thing for you, you can do it. You can strike up a conversation at a chamber of commerce after hours event, or a trade association meeting. Now, you are looking for a good man and you bring these skills to your dating journey. You apply your well-honed business skills to the singles events, or even on a match.com coffee date. And, when a man gives you his card and says “call me”, you follow up right? I sure hope not!

For women, there is no follow up in dating. I’m going to tell you this straight and I’m not going to hold back. Follow up is considered a traditionally “masculine” skill related to the business world. Now that women are a strong force in business, women have adopted these traditionally masculine behaviors to be successful in their careers. That’s very smart, however when you follow up with a man you just met and have romantic interest in or had a date with, you are relying on your business skills. This means you are not using your feminine charm, an issue that can literally derail anything from starting with a man. How come? Most strong, independent women want a strong, decisive, masculine man, but guess what that masculine man wants? He wants a feminine woman who compliments his masculinity. A woman who helps him feel more masculine. He doesn’t want a woman who can be as masculine as he is. That is not attractive to any man. Does this mean you have to become a door mat? Absolutely not! It does mean that you will need to learn how to get in touch with your feminine charm and use it for romantic relationship success. Now you might be thinking “What does that look like?” 

A woman using her feminine charm to interact with men...
  • Can be friendly and walk up to men to strike up a conversation, but don’t ask what he does for a living. You might tease him about something or tell him why the color of the shirt he has on suits him.
  • Allows the man to initiate contact and ask her out. She doesn’t call a man who gave her his card because she knows that shows his laziness and lack of true interest. She knows to let the man initiate the chase.
  • Smiles at men, especially when she catches a man looking at her. She knows this is the way to let him know it’s OK to approach her and invite him into her world.
  • Might ask a guy to dance on an occasion, but doesn’t do this as a rule. And once that song is over, she says “thank you” and quickly departs, giving him the opportunity to return to her if he’s interested.
  • Doesn’t call or email to say “thank you” the day after a date, or send little gifts. She knows that to do this can invade a man’s space. She might send a simple text once, but nothing more and it’s not required.
  • Knows how to follow a man’s lead. She does return his call, email or text, but doesn’t initiate additional contact until after 2 or 3 dates. And then follows the 3:1 rule (his contact vs. hers) to refrain from over communicating.
Men choose women who make them feel good about themselves. Relying on your feminine charm will do just that. I’m not taking away your power. In fact, I’m showing you how to make use of your unique feminine ability and the way to become irresistible to amazing men...

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2 comments:

Lorease said...

Absolutely has taught me something new. I appreciate it. Thanks.

Delvin Randle said...

No problem, now go get 'em!