Guys have it tougher when it comes to dating. Generally speaking,
women expect us to take the lead, break the ice and do the pursuing. In
my own experience with relationships, I’ve always been the one to take
the first step. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. It’s
simply nature at work, and men are hardwired to seek the thrill of the
chase. We’re goal-driven; and in the back of our minds, guys know that
what they want isn’t going to just fall into our laps. But what
if you’re interested in a guy who needs your help to get the ball
rolling? I can only imagine how frustrating it is to have feelings for a
man and not have them reciprocated. Many a time have I heard women complain to me about getting stuck in the so-called Friend Zone. I
hate to say this, but once you’ve crossed over into that dreaded
territory, it’ll be hard to convince your platonic friend to have
romantic feelings for you. In fact, you might be better off starting over with a new guy instead.
So
avoiding this trap means planting the seeds of romance as early as
possible to prevent him from perceiving you in a non-sexual light. But
how do you do it without looking needy or desperate? Let me show you a few ways:
#1: Get Your Brain Involved. With the right mindset, you
can focus your efforts to surpass personal boundaries. What does this have to do with your love life? Well, let me give you an example. A millionaire has the attitude and mindset of a wealthy person before he earned his money, not after. His thoughts and beliefs guided his actions and habits which brought him to where he is now. In
the same way, consciously telling yourself that you are attracted to
your guy will influence your actions (giving verbal and non-verbal
cues) and bring about sexual chemistry. Men pick up on this natural vibe and will trigger his desire to pursue someone who’s giving the right signals. In
the pickup artist community (yes, there is such a thing), this is known
as "indicators of interest". Whether it’s the way you flip your
hair or how you speak, guys pick up on these subtle signals and perceive
it as a green light to pursue a woman.
#2: Drop Hints In Your Conversation. As
it is, some guys need a little more nudging for your message to hit
home. But as I said earlier, you’ll risk scaring him off if you lay it
too thick for him at the start. To quietly slip under his radar, try
lacing your chatter with the romantic talk. The trick to talking
about romantic things without coming on too strong is by talking about
another person you know (like a friend or co-worker) and describe a
romantic situation they were involved in. Once you’ve introduced a little context, give your own thoughts about the situation and ask him what he thinks. It’s easier than it sounds. Consider this example: “Last
week, my friend went out on an out-of-town date with her new
boyfriend and he took her to a cozy little resort. He knew she
loved the outdoors, so he spent a couple of weeks planning the whole
thing as a surprise. It’s pretty cool when someone does stuff for their
partner based on what she really likes. Have you experienced anything
like that before?” Not complicated at all, right? Think of your own scenarios to get his mind in the right direction. When
you regularly have these kinds of conversations, your guy will start associating all those romantic notions with
you. Remember, he doesn’t have to fall for you right then and
there. The intended effect is for him to picture you as a potential
partner instead of writing you off as a harmless friend.
#3: Touch Him a Few Times. To
really seal the deal, nothing speaks interest louder than a few
instances of contact every now and then. In most cases, a guy is
willing to make the effort to pursue a girl who at the very least, is
comfortable enough to tap his shoulder or touch his hand. It
doesn’t have to be all the time, but you should do it a couple of times
whenever you meet to maintain a constant presence in his consciousness. You know you’re making progress if he starts returning the favor and finding an excuse to touch you as well. However,
I’d like to wrap up things by advising you to temper these steps with a
little restraint. Although you’re trying to get his attention, you don’t have to ride all your hopes for romance on one guy. In
fact, acting with a slight sense of detachment will actually work to
your advantage because you’re relieving yourself (and him) of the
pressure to be more than friends. Not only will you act relaxed around
him, he won’t feel awkward or forced to reciprocate.
Just remember
that there will be other opportunities out there if the guy you like
doesn’t respond in the way you’d hoped. Dating should not be a matter of life or death...
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