Impatient Relationships (My Lesson)

Patience is a virtue... 

Slow and steady wins the race...  

Good things usually come to those who wait...

It’s funny how many anecdotes reference the benefits of taking our time. Yet we live in an instant-gratification society. We can cook a meal, access information or talk to someone on the other side of the world, all in an instant, but we easily grow impatient if things do not happen at warped speed in today’s society. In recent conversations with several of my friends, the subject of time and the pace of relationships came into play. I realized it is a common theme, but one that is often problematic. For some, their relationships ignite in an instant, like a flash fire in a pan, but cool off just as quickly. For others, they grow impatient when a relationship does not move along quickly enough into the stages of complete devotion. It seems we’ve lost our middle ground. There is only hot or cold, fast or slow, but nowhere in between. You might be able to make do with instant mashed potatoes in a pinch, but is instant really the best for relationships?

It seems many people often try to rush things when it comes to dating and relationships. Some people are impatient and afraid to be alone, so they often settle for the first person that comes along rather than waiting for the right person. Rushing into exclusivity or intimacy, not knowing if they really love someone, yet willingly giving themselves freely into commitment before they give themselves time to see if they are even right for each other...only to find out shortly thereafter that they weren’t. Still, there are others who grow impatient, and unwilling to give a perfectly good relationship time to develop naturally. They allow their own insecurities to get in the way and often push the other person away before they even give things a chance.

How do I know this? Because I’ve made many of these same mistakes myself, and I've learned a thing or two along the way. This after all, is the reason why the blog you're reading is called "Relationship Lessons". I've learned that I am often my own worst enemy and I often get in my own way of finding love, or at least developing a healthy and happy relationship. True, deep and meaningful relationships can take time to develop. Some cases of love at first sight may occur, but if you can fall in love in an instant, can’t you fall out of love just as quick? So based on what hasn't worked in the past for me, and the opportunities I missed due to my own impatience, I’ve decided to try a different approach. Rather than trying to control the speed of my relationships, I’ve decided to go along for the ride and let the relationship move at its own natural pace. Ultimately, I am looking for a long-term relationship, not just a long weekend, so there is no rush. Thankfully, I no longer feel like the little kid in the back seat of the car anxiously asking “are we there yet?” Instead, I get to sit back, relax, and simply enjoy the ride with a fantastic woman which may include a forehead kiss or two here and there. Its not just the destination, but its the journey that we take to get us there that is part of the adventure too. So I am trying to savor every moment, every step, every forehead kiss, and for the first time in my life I've found my middle ground. Its completely out of character for me, and different from anything I have ever experienced, yet ironically its working, continuing to grow and move forward, slowly but steadily. Though some people think being patient is a sign of weakness, I see it as a sign of strength and self-control. It takes training and discipline and though it may not always be easy, but like I said at the beginning of this blog, good things usually come to those who wait. Someone worth having is someone worth waiting for, and I believe the one I'm waiting for is definitely worth it. This just so happens to be MY relationship lesson...

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