Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Lessons Learned (Guest Blogger)

You don't get what you want if you don't ask for what you want, and since I have asked for you to share with me your personal relationship lessons, I have received so many! For those of you who don't know, on the Relationship Lessons facebook page, I stated that what you learned as far as relationships go can help someone else while they're facing it, or help someone get past it themselves. I invited everyone to share with me what they have learned in their relationship process, and so today I share with you a lesson from Nellie.
 
So many lessons learned in such a short time. I never knew how it felt to have my heart broken over a relationship that lasted only 10 months (in the place I live, it's a short time). When I was hurt by the person I used to call "the one" (also known as C), I realized what my ex of 3 months had felt (lets call him B, because there was also an A). B and me broke up because he didn't try enough. At least that's what I thought. I didn't know he was giving his all into it. I just couldn't see it. Whenever we crossed paths, he would avoid looking at me. He would be revolted by my presence around him, and I thought how could a person not be over a relationship after 7 years. When C lied to me and gave me reason I didn't want to understand, I thought of how B must have felt. He must still be hurting and wishes we had never met. I was feeling the same for C. I tried apologizing for what I did, because I knew that's exactly what I wanted from my new ex...a heartfelt "sorry".
 
But there is no point in expecting an apology when you haven't apologized for the wrong you did to someone else. I am talking about B and C when A was the love of my life. If I could go back in time, I would go back to him. I know that neither of my first two exes have moved on. The day you move on is the day you meet your ex and feel nothing at all. I feel nothing for them when I meet them or watch them from a distance. Maybe I am a ruthless person with no emotions, but I can see the pain in their eyes. I can now feel the pain they felt. I was hit by Karma for all my misdeeds.
 
No person is bad in this world. Everyone has a good side, and it's all about priorities. The mistakes I made with my exes made me realize that I shouldn't repeat them with my new guy. Guess what? I got served exactly what I deserved. I was left crying and broken, and I never knew the reason except maybe we didn't belong from the same clan and were from different religious backgrounds. I never knew love was judged on the basis of these petty issues. I know my family wouldn't have an issue, and even if they did, I was ready to fight the world for my love. The thing is, he wasn't. I tell myself that I probably couldn't understand his side of the story, the fact being I didn't want to. I loved him and he loved me. That was the only reason in the world anyone needed to stay together-LOVE. I've learned that you can't force love into your life. You might be ready to fight the world and actually practice what you preach, but if you don't have the support of your partner, you can't fight the world on your own. You can do all you want to undo the wrong done, but what's done is done. You can lay down everything in your life for that one person, but they will never come back to you. They will never care about the tears you shed, and all of those sleepless nights for months on end. All your love and care will be thrown into a pile and you'll be sorry. You'll realise that if you hurt someone in the past, it'll come back to haunt you in the future. Love is an emotion that makes life worthwhile. It's what keeps you going during your tough times, but it can turn out to be your worst nightmare. You can start hating the thought of ever falling in love again.
 
Send me what you've learned, or what you would like people to know about the state of your relationship to relationshiplessons2013@gmail.com along with a photo and where you live in this big old world of ours, and you too can be a guest blogger...


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