Fellas, let’s take a stroll down memory lane. You meet a woman you
have genuine interest in. You spend much time conversing with her over
the phone; the two of you go out on dates; you treat her with the
respect she deserves, and you both enjoy the time spent together.
Everything seems to be going just fine, then out of nowhere, she
questions the legitimacy of it all. She says things like “this is too good to be true” or “there’s no way you can be THIS nice of a guy” or lastly, “do you have kids that I don’t know about or an attitude problem you haven’t displayed yet?”
You’re left thinking, “what in the hell is this woman talking about?”
You’ve given her no reason to feel this way, and yet she’s questioning
your authenticity and the validity of all the things you’ve ever told
her and the experiences you two have shared. I refer to this as Selective Perception and sadly, many women suffer from this, which causes men to suffer right along with them.
Selective Perception – A bias interpretation of information in a way that aligns with existing ideology.
Let me break it down further. The woman who is accusing you of being like the
men she has previously encountered, decided to view
you as "too good to be true" because her experiences in life tell her that you
are. Her experiences are the stimuli used to form her present-day
reality, as well as the paradigm in which she thinks.
This is a quick way to turn off a good guy.
The thing about good guys is, they know they’re good guys. They know
that there is a shortage of good guys out here, so they usually are less
likely to deal with the unnecessary. You have this guy that treats you
right, takes you out on fantastic dates, has great conversation,
enhances your life experience, and in return...he gets his integrity
questioned with accusations of being fake and phony. He doesn’t have to
deal with that, so he leaves and you’re back at square one looking for
another good guy. It’s perfectly understandable how you can get to this position. Our
perception is generated by our awareness and understanding of the
sensory information we experience everyday. If we reacted to every
degree of stimuli throughout our day, we would be extremely overwhelmed.
This activates our selective perception, which serves as a filter for
information that we find to be of no use due to our current ideology.
Although it’s understandable how you’ve come to this conclusion, it’s
important to understand it enough to make alterations. Selective
perception deprives women of seeing the truth in men because of the labels they've already given them. The perception is so limiting, that you can miss out on
forming relationships that may prove to be highly beneficial. Increasing
your awareness to this process will allow
you to be able to manage relationships better.
Ladies: You deserve a good man. Many of your doubts
stem from the uncertainty of if you really deserve everything a good man
has to offer. You do deserve everything and more. A good man takes pride in being good to you, so embrace
him. Don’t let your past cause you to scare off your future.
Gentlemen: She’s scared and scarred, and the baggage may
seem too heavy for the wonderful ride you’re ready to take her on.
Stimulate her while you carry those bags. Allow the trip you take her on to alter her
perception, and watch how happy she makes you once you reach your
destination.
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