Friday, April 25, 2014

The Five First Date Dealbreakers

Today, I'm looking out for the fellas. Keep in mind fellas that women are unpredictable individuals with many delicate sensibilities, but it's not their fault. Not only are women bred differently, but they also are affected differently by things that don’t have much of an effect on men. When it comes to dating, there are some things men can do that will have her heat switch permanently iced over. I know, I know… lots of these things seem small, but remember what I said about delicate sensibilities. A couple of days ago, I asked women to inbox me on the Relationship Lessons Facebook page, and I asked both men and women to comment on my personal Facebook page to name things said or done on a first date that would guarantee not having a second date, and here are the five dating dealbreakers:
  1. HE'S DISTRACTED - Women always like to be the center of attention, especially on a date. So when a man is constantly checking his phone or checking the score of the game over her shoulder, she feels unimportant. Show her she is your priority by giving her 100% of your attention on the date.
  2. POOR COMMUNICATION - Verbal communication is a primal source of connection for women. Just as men need visual stimulation, women need to know you are willing to invest in getting to know and understand her by asking questions, taking mental notes and applying what you have learned. Telling her what is on your mind is a HUGE turn on!
  3. GROPING, OGLING and OTHER DEMORALIZING BEHAVIOR – You might want to keep yourself from acting on it, but imagining squeezing her all too irresistible butt cheeks and staring at her breasts all through dinner certainly won’t win you any brownie points. Show her she has your admiration and respect by doing what a gentleman would do.
  4. BEING DISRESPECTFUL – I know this one can be left open to interpretation, but let me give you a few examples. Staring at other women, and talking down to her or anything that implies she should “stay in her place” are all things that will get you added to the “DO NOT ANSWER” list.  (That’s the list of men who women send straight to voicemail and never return their calls).
  5. POOR PERSONAL HYGIENE – This should be self explanatory, but let me add a few in here. In addition to bad smells, dirty clothes, or funky breath, we can throw in dirty nails, uncut/ ungroomed hair and wrinkled clothes. If any of this is going on, all she is thinking is how much work you are going to be.
If I had to add to this list with a couple of "not so honorable mentions", they would be...
  • BAD TABLE MANNERS – This probably seems minute, but its a stickler. Polishing off the rest of her food then burping in her face is a 100% guarantee that she won’t be seeing you again.
  • HE'S INCONSIDERATE – Women like to know that you find value in them, especially their time and energy. So things like being late without calling are sure to set off alarms.
These are just a few of the points made on Facebook. I'd love to know if I missed anything, or if you have more to add...  

facebook.com/RelationshipLessons
twitter.com/RShipLessons

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