Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Five Ways to Define Love

Love??? What the hell is that? The dictionary (depending on which one you choose) has a bunch of different definitions. They can’t even decide if it’s a noun, verb, or an adjective. And with all that, you with your smart self think you know EXACTLY what love is? Some swear it’s what you can do for them, and others how you make them feel. Most of us think we know it all, so if you don’t do it the way we think, then you don’t know what love is. But just like the dictionary, there are so many definitions. How do you know who’s wrong or right? I know Keith Sweat says "there is a right and a wrong way to love somebody", but he couldn’t even tell you what it was.

People start working out their definition from the time they exit the womb. All kinds of things play a part in molding the way they think. Love becomes an equation with all these inter-changeable variables: How did their parents treat them? What kind of relationship did they see their parents have? Childhood friendships and even those puppy love relationships that you had when you are too young to know what love is, helps you to build your definition.

The truth is, I wish I could tell you what love is. Even if I could tell you, the probability is high that you wouldn’t believe me anyway. At the end of the day, it really is what you think it is. Now the real trick is in finding someone who thinks and feels the same way you do. The problem with that is they don’t exist. No two people think and feel the exact same way about everything. Even if you feel the same about almost everything, somewhere on something you are different. It’s the same way when it comes to love. Your definitions might be almost the same, but not exactly the same, yet it can still be love.

Here is how you define love in your relationship:
  1. Tell them what you believe love is – The only way they’ll know what you expect is if you tell them.
  2. Find out what they believe love is – Remember, everyone is different and has their own definition.
  3. Figure out what you have in common – Even though they have a bunch of different definitions, most share some common factor.
  4. Examine the things you disagree on – You won’t agree on everything, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
  5. Figure out how the differences can benefit you – You learned the good things about love, and you also learned some bad things about it. Some of the differences may help you to let go of those bad things you’ve learned.
At the end of the day it’s not what anyone else says what love is. It’s what the two people in that relationship says love is, and as long as they agree that’s all that matters. Besides, who are we to say what the hell love is???

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