Afraid of Finding Love

People are so afraid of feeling vulnerable, they’ll avoid dating completely. Every single one of us feel vulnerable at some time or another in our lives. You can’t avoid it, and by avoiding getting close to anyone, you’re denying yourself the chance of ever being happy. I understand what it’s like though. You meet someone that blows your mind, and instantly all your insecurities come out.

You go on a few dates, the confidence flows easily, you're feeling comfortable, you're loving everything he says, and when he kisses you goodbye at the end of the night, it feels incredible. You’re lying there in bed, trying not to get carried away with it all, and then suddenly you realize, “Wait a second. I really like this guy!”

It feels great, but you feel vulnerable and you don’t like it. You’ve finally found someone you would like to connect with, but then you worry they won’t feel the same way. It’s a natural feeling. We all want to be loved, but you can’t avoid that natural primal desire in all of us.

You start to try every trick in the book to make sure they like you. Instead of being yourself, you create this template of what you’re “supposed” to be about (someone I like to call "The Representative"). After all, if they don’t feel the same way, you’re going to be alone and devastated! All the stupid dating “rules and regulations” out there don’t help. Some experts say play it cool, don’t show your feelings, wait for him to call you, etc. etc, blah blah blah.

We play so many games in our own head it’s ridiculous. Don’t let your fears and insecurities spoil it all for you. The biggest mistake I see women make when they meet a guy they connect with, is they kill any momentum they have with negative thoughts and fears. They start playing games, and following rules based on nothing. They shut off emotionally to try to protect themselves from disappointment that may never come. I know meeting someone new is scary. You worry they won’t feel the same, or that you’re going to be hurt again. What you have to remember is you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by giving love a chance. Just jump in headfirst and see what happens. Don’t miss the magic. Falling in love is an amazing feeling. People see the difference in you, and you feel the difference in yourself. You spend your hours wondering what they’re doing, and if they’re thinking of you. When you meet a man you connect with, go for it. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy getting to know him. The first few weeks of a new relationship is so beautiful, new, and exciting. You’re connecting, and feeling all those warm sensations you have when you start to fall for someone. They’re feelings you can’t get back so enjoy them in the moment. If you like him, tell him. Don’t hold back. You can help each other through your fears, because guess what, he will be feeling the same vulnerability as you are. I absolutely guarantee it. 

Love is one of life’s free pleasures, so don’t let your fears of the unknown spoil your chance of happiness...