10 Reasons Why He Will Commit To Her, But Not To You

That is the question that plagues a woman's mind when a man chooses another woman over her. You're left wondering what you did wrong to push him away or think you're not good enough. You may find yourself seeking validation or even wanting him to make you the exception to the rule to soothe the reality of having been rejected. The majority of the time, you begin to obsess and rack your brain trying to analyze every conversation, and every text message between the two of you in hopes of finding what you may have done or said to drive him away.
Don’t you hate it when you find out a guy you dated is now in a relationship? Or worse, is married? I’m not talking about the good guys...you always knew that they’d end up married. I’m talking about the “crazy” and commitment phobic ones. The one that said “I’m scared of getting hurt,” as his excuse for not wanting to take you out on a date. I’m talking about the one that said “I’m not looking to get serious right now,” and you ended up trying to convince him that he was ready by showing him how great of a girlfriend you are.
When this happens, instantly you want to know what’s wrong with you. Why did he choose her over you? There are several different reasons, but here are the top 10 probable causes for him committing to her but not to you.

1) He didn't see you as serious relationship material - This is a hard one to accept. A lot of women believe they’re the ones that get to call the shots and determine if he’s good enough for them. Well, the same thing works for him. He gets to determine what works for him and apparently, you weren’t what he wanted for a long term relationship.

2) You were too clingy and/or too needy - If you’re needy and dependent and don’t know it, you’re in trouble. If you constantly needed his approval or reassuring compliments, that can be exhausting for him. Men want a woman who is confident, not needy.

3) You never complimented him - Let me tell you a little secret...our egos are a lot more fragile than you think, and a compliment can go a long way for a man that’s into you. If you were constantly finding fault with his behaviors or disapproving of how he lived his life, that may have eliminated you out of the running for committed relationship.

4) He didn't feel like he could contribute to your life - A married friend of mine likes to say “I let my husband do things around the house so that he knows I need him and so that he knows he’s the man. The minute he feels like he’s not the man, he’ll go be the man to someone else.” If your ex didn’t feel like he could give you anything to enhance your life, his manhood may have been challenged. Same rules apply if you told him that he couldn’t do anything for you.

5) Bad timing - It’s a possibility that at the time he was with you, he was not in relationship mode. Maybe he was building a career or trying to get his stuff together in some way. Maybe he wanted to be with you, but he just couldn’t give you what you wanted at that time.

6) There was too much pressure - A fraternity brother of mine said recently, “when I come home, I want peace.” If you always wanted to talk about the relationship, questioning his whereabouts and intentions, or hinting that you wanted to be married within a certain time frame, it may have turned him off. Also, if you constantly told him that he should change “for the better”, that was too much pressure as well.

7) You went "mommy" on him - Maybe you were constantly cooking, cleaning, and taking care of him. Maybe you gave him advice ad nauseum about how to handle adult matters. If you went mommy on him, he probably stuck around because he liked being taken care of, but he mentally ruled you out as anything serious.

8) You didn't know how to have fun - If you didn’t have an exciting life outside of him, it probably put a lot of pressure on the relationship. If at every moment you wanted him to accompany you to some event or participate in some activity, he may have made him feel like you were too needy.

9) You weren't emotionally open to him - Sometimes the guy may have wanted a relationship but you were just simply not available. Your mouth may have said one thing, but your actions said another. If you were constantly busy, rarely returning his calls, or seldomly clearing some time for him in your schedule, then that probably ruled you out of the commitment running.

10) You slept with him too soon - Contrary to popular belief, sometimes waiting is better. Sex is more emotional for women, and when they sleep with someone they don’t know yet, it bonds them together (the makings of a soul tie). When men sleep with women, they may feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. They’ve already seen everything you’ve got (the makings of a bastard). Even if he came back for seconds, thirds, or more, he came back because it was being offered. But mentally, he’d already counted you out of the commitment running.