Has this ever happened to you before? An attractive guy approaches you (at a bar, a party, wherever) and starts chatting you up. He’s nice, interesting, funny, and immediately you feel a spark for him. He asks for your number, but the moment you give it to him you think, “Well that was pointless. He’ll never call.” But then a day or two later he does call. Not only that, he asks you out on a date. You go out to a great restaurant, have a fascinating conversation, and he ends the night with a kiss. (and a really good one at that!) But instead of really letting yourself enjoy it, you translate the kiss to mean the big kiss-off, as in, “see ya later… I’ll never hear from this guy again.”
Surprise, surprise! The next day your phone rings and it’s him, calling to tell you what an amazing time he had last night and asking when he can see you for a second date. But instead of dancing around your living room in celebration of the fact that you met a good guy who is actually into courting, you spiral into a tailspin. You feel nervous, unsettled, everything is going just a little too well when suddenly you’re like: “WAIT-A-MINUTE!!! Something must be wrong with this guy!” Then you become determined to figure out exactly what it is. And if you can’t find something actually wrong, you may just end up inventing something disastrous in your head.
Nod your head if you’ve been there...it's ok.
It’s a sad state of affairs, but I think that most women have had so many negative experiences with men that they may find it virtually impossible to believe it when a relationship actually goes right.
It’s like until there’s a major flaw with a guy (either an emotional issue you need to ‘fix’, or a physical characteristic you need to learn to get over, or an indifferent attitude toward women that makes you think you need to convince a man that he's good enough for you), you can’t believe that he’s for real. In other words, when things are finally good, you actually end up creating your own drama just so you can say, “Ahhh, OK. This feels familiar.”
I swear…it’s like all the bad guys out there have ruined it for the good ones! When did women become so cynical? These days, women think a good man is like a unicorn. Women spend their childhood dreaming that they’ll actually find one someday, and when they finally do, they say “oh come on...this is just a figment of my imagination! Unicorns, I mean good men, don’t really exist”. The truth is, there are good guys out there! Why should it be so unbelievable to think that when one of them meets a phenomenal woman like you, he knows he needs to do whatever it takes to keep you? That he actually might want to call you just to hear your voice? That he can’t wait for his next date with you to get to know you better, and hopefully get another one of those amazing kisses he was so lucky to receive last time? You just have to do a little work to open your heart, shake off those years of bad experiences that may have made you cynical or un-trusting in any way, and get in the right frame of mind to receive the healthy love you truly do deserve!
Follow me on Facebook and Twitter:
facebook.com/min.randle
facebook.com/relationshiplessons
twitter.com/delvinrandle
3 comments:
If Im dating you, Im mating you..thats a bag lady...lol
I believe there are still some good men left too. I believe until the day I die, even if I dont get one. Angel Latchey
That was the most disturbing piece, I've read from you. I can not believe there are women out there that does that. Self sabotage, why are they so negative. Why can't they just enjoy the moment, and know their worth. Why wouldn't he be interested in you. Why wouldn't he call you back, your worthy of that and much more. Every man is not the same. I would think of the new men that want to date you, as someone who sees a good thing. Not someone who wants to screw you over. Yeah, the others messed up, but like you said D there are good men out there. Smh.#aj
Post a Comment