Have you ever looked back over your past relationships and said to yourself “What the hell was I thinking???" As
you honestly reflect on your past relationships, you will see that the red flags were
waving all around you. There was a chance you may not have picked up
on them because you were blinded by what you thought was love. But if
you get real with yourself you will see that the red flags were there,
waving right in front of your eyes, almost from the very beginning.
But you chose to ignore them, right? So why is it when it comes to matters of the heart its easy for you to make the wrong decisions over and over again? One word…EMOTIONS!
You
see, as human beings we are primarily driven by the emotional part of
our brains. It doesn’t make a difference what our logical brain says, if
we are emotionally attached to an outcome or situation, we almost
always make the choice and decision based on what satisfies our
immediate emotional needs. You will do this in almost every aspect
of your life. You complain about your weight and how you don’t like
what you see in the mirror, yet you will eat that extra piece of cake.
You say you can’t afford something, but when there is something you
really want, you break out the credit card and
charge it even though your balances are getting harder and harder to
pay off. Nowhere is this more obvious than in our dating and
relationships. You continue to stay with a guy, sometimes for years, no
matter how happy and unfulfilled you are. Your intuition is telling
you to run but you continue to stay. Why? Because your emotions are running the show. No matter how your reality sucks you come up with every excuse, justification and rationalization as to why you should stay. Why? Because emotionally you want to stay.
Have
you ever noticed how easy it is to give your girlfriend advice in her
love life but when it comes to your own you don’t practice what you
preach? It’s easy for you to see that the guy she is with isn’t
treating her the way she deserves and you have no problem pointing out
what is wrong with her relationship. To you it’s obvious what she
should do, yet when you are in the same situation, you do the opposite. It
doesn’t make a difference how educated you are, if you don’t learn to
operate from the logical part of your brain and make your choices and
decisions based on what is right and best, you will continue to ride the
"dating and relationship rollercoaster". And please don’t pull
that “But I love him” crap. Love does not mean that you become a human
doormat for a guy to walk all over you and treat you in a way less than
you deserve. If I hear another unhappy and unfulfilled woman say “But I love him”, I’m gonna puke. That is not love…and you know it!
Love
is two people honoring each other, respecting each other and enjoying
the journey of life together in ways that make each other happy, and
make each others life better. Here’s the deal. If you allow your
emotions to dictate your choices and decisions you are going to
continue to make dumb mistakes. You can blame all the men in the
world, and you can complain how hard dating and relationships are, but if
you take a good, honest look in the mirror and get real with yourself,
you will see that you are making things hard and the reason you are
making things hard is because your emotions are running you. So
here is a simple word of advice that I teach my coaching
clients. If you want to know what is the right and best choice for you
in any moment, pretend that your friend is going through the same
experience. Then step back and see what advice you would give her, and
then follow that advice. It’s that simple.
Once you learn to
control and manage your emotions and make choices and decisions which
are in alignment with what it is your heart really desires, you will
see that dating and making the right choices becomes much easier. Yes,
there will be times that the emotions kick in and start leading you
down the wrong path but because you will be better prepared to make the
better choice it will be easier for you to create result you really
desire, and deserve...
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