Impatient Relationships, Part 2 (My Lesson)

Millions of people around the world are trying to find love as we speak. There was even a time or two when I was one of them. In the wake of my life crash and divorce in 2002, over a period of ten years, I went on a lot of dates. A few of which went on to involve a sexual liaison, because I was searching for someone to replace my wife. It was easy because I was trying to outrun my pain. I expected to be able to find something perfect out there in the dating world, beyond my pre-concieved notions. I went halfway around the country looking for the perfect woman. All incredible women with so much to give, but who couldn’t deliver the instant bolt of love I had convinced myself was a prerequisite for any long-term relationship to blossom.

My son said something to me that opened my eyes while driving one day that my life changed. I was stuck in traffic, thinking over my life, getting frustrated, yelling at drivers, pissed off and clenching the steering wheel. When the little man popped up from the back seat. “You know Dad, you could try a little more patience. Then you might find that life gets easier.” Out of the mouths of babes, he was absolutely right. I'm in the middle of writing a book (or at least I'm trying to) that tells the story of my comprehensive marriage breakdown, my even more comprehensive mental breakdown, my sexual escapades as an accidental but hardcore “player”, my search for love in the age of the internet and most of all, how I came to repair the fractured relationship I had with my ex wife and son who was two when we divorced. During the writing of this book, and later in the car with my son, I became acutely aware of something that was not only missing from my own life, but also seems to be in danger of disappearing from all our lives: Patience.

We seem to have lost patience with everything. We don’t read books like we used to. We channel surf. We move on if a web page takes more than five seconds to download. We throw away perfectly good things. I guess it’s quicker to replace something than repair it (you'll get that one later). We take our smartphones to dinner. We no longer listen and absorb. We like, we poke, we tweet, we put up selfies on Instagram when we just can’t bear to be in our own company for more than a few minutes. When something comes along that’s newer than what we already have, our instinctive reaction is to throw away what we have and upgrade as quickly as possible. People sleep outside Apple stores overnight to get their hands on a phone the next day??? I tell ya, the whole world has gone cray cray! 

So tomorrow is my 47th birthday and it seems that the older I get, the less patience I apparently have. My biggest relationship lesson has been learning the value of patience and waiting, not just for the web page that I want to appear on my phone or desktop, but also for the relationship that I want the most...with the woman that I want the most. After all, love IS patient...right? I've come a long way since my life crash of 2002, and I have a little more way to go, but none of it would have been possible without God reconstructing my life. If you are also wanting patience in your relationship, be aware that the moment will come when you will have to test the patience you already have. Keep God close, because you'll need Him more than ever...

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