(phone rings)
Jerry: “Uh…hello?”
Karen: “Hey baby, how was your day?”
J: “Why are you calling me?”
K: “You're silly…what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t call my man.”
J: *silence*
K: “So are you gonna tell me about your day?”
J: “You have got to be kidding me! Did you forget what happened yesterday?”
K: “We had an argument, but we've had them before. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
J: *sighs* “Are you serious?”
K: “Baby, I know you're not still mad at me.”
J: “Well, you did shoot me 4 times in the stomach with my own gun, and I think you spat on me too. I was only half conscious”
K: “I said I was sorry last night, and even drove you to the hospital. And don’t act like you didn’t do anything. I specifically asked for two small cans of soup, and you brought me one big can.”
J: *pauses* "I went through 7 hours of surgery and they took out one of my kidneys. You really expect me to forget already?”
K: “I did. I said I’m sorry. You just gonna keep holding onto the past?”
J: *hangs up phone*
Karen: “Hey baby, how was your day?”
J: “Why are you calling me?”
K: “You're silly…what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t call my man.”
J: *silence*
K: “So are you gonna tell me about your day?”
J: “You have got to be kidding me! Did you forget what happened yesterday?”
K: “We had an argument, but we've had them before. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
J: *sighs* “Are you serious?”
K: “Baby, I know you're not still mad at me.”
J: “Well, you did shoot me 4 times in the stomach with my own gun, and I think you spat on me too. I was only half conscious”
K: “I said I was sorry last night, and even drove you to the hospital. And don’t act like you didn’t do anything. I specifically asked for two small cans of soup, and you brought me one big can.”
J: *pauses* "I went through 7 hours of surgery and they took out one of my kidneys. You really expect me to forget already?”
K: “I did. I said I’m sorry. You just gonna keep holding onto the past?”
J: *hangs up phone*
Relationship Amnesia:
A condition where a person in a relationship quickly forgets the violent, immature, dangerous, or just stupid things they did to their mate within a very short period of time (often 24 hours). Often characterized by conversations pretending like nothing ever happened, a refusal to let go, and blatant ignorance of the other person’s requests (stop calling me, etc). This afflicts males and females. In males it can be a symptom of "bitchassness". In females it is often linked to “cray cray”.
Relationship Amnesia is a serious problem and is messing up the lives
of poor individuals all over the country. If we don’t stop this
epidemic soon, who will? Do you want to be caught off guard when your
ex shows up the Christmas dinner smiling with a ham in his hand, as if
the curse out and break up you dealt him for sleeping with your co-worker
never happened?
Relationship Amnesia exists in more than one form. You have temporary amnesia, and chronic amnesia. Let me explain: the temporary form may only happen once or twice, and will usually be
big. This is the girl who just doesn’t want to believe that its over, or the guy who won’t acknowledge that he cheated. You get the idea. Of
those afflicted, some when confronted with their recent wrong
doing, try and blame the other. Now for the worst kind, the chronic case. This case inflicts those individuals who are always forgetting what they did. They will curse you out, hang up on you, insult your character, then call you the next day like nothing is
wrong. Or you might have been mad and did the cursing because of some
issue (lying, cheating, forgot you at the airport), the call ends with
nothing resolved, and the next day they hit you up like your not
still angry. You may also have fits of selective memory where their
version never puts them in the wrong. For example:
- “Don’t forget my birthday like you did last year, lol.”
- “What are you talking about? I didn’t forget it.”
- “Yeah you did, remember you came over and saw the balloons and then apologized because you had been working so hard. Its not a big deal, we had only been dating 2 weeks.”
- “I have no idea what your talking about, I never forget birthdays…ask my mama!”
- “Baby, its ok. You went and got me that cute teddy bear the same day. Its alright.”
- “Why you always gotta make me out to be the bad guy? I AIN'T FORGET YOUR BIRTHDAY!”
This poor guy suffers from Relationship Amnesia. So here at Relationship Lessons, we are concerned about this epidemic and
the implications it will have on good honest people, trying to hold good
honest relationships. Therefore I am starting the “Remember or Die”
campaign. We will soon have shirts, hats, shot glasses, thongs, boy
shorts, and sport bras…all with the slogan printed on them.
Every donation will go to purchase Gingko Biloba, notepads, video
recorders, and phone recording devices for these forgetful bastards.
The first step is sharing. Have you ever had a fit of Relationship
Amnesia? Have you dated someone afflicted with Relationship Amnesia? Is
someone you currently don’t want to talk to still calling you because of
their fit with Relationship Amnesia?
facebook.com/relationshiplessons
twitter.com/DelvinRestored
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