Happy Bloggerversary to Relationship Lessons!

What makes me, out of all of the people in the world, an authority on relationships? To be honest, I've been married before (12 years) to a terrific woman, but I was a bastard in more ways than one. I lied, I cheated, and I destructively controlled my way out of that relationship. After two other marriages didn't last a year combined, it was time for me to think about what was I missing. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't I find the answer to how to do right and more importantly, how to BE right? Then it clicked...the epiphany, the ah-ha moment, the "what you say now" moment when it all came together for me. My first ex-wife and I had several relationship books, which at the time she read more of than of than I did. Within the margins of these books, she wrote her view as to where her marriage was at the time, and most of all, what she wasn't getting from me (WOW)! I took the time to read these books from different writers, and from the wife who was giving me documented proof as to just how much of a bastard I really was. So what makes me, out of all of the people in the world, an authority on relationships? The fact that the lessons I've learned haven't made me perfect (there aren't any PERFECT relationships), but they've made me better. Better for the man I am now, and better for the man I'll be in the future. I'll share with you these lessons, and we can all learn from them together...

That's what I said in my first blog entry back on September 7th of last year. One little column. Fourteen brief sentences in preparation of me opening the door to the public on what was a failed relationship life. It took me a long time to push those fourteen sentences out that day. I was nervous about doing it because I didn't know at first if being transparent about my failures and triumphs was a good idea, or if I would even last that long in the blogger-sphere writing about it. Looking back at it, now 187 posts later, I never could've imagined it would take on the life it has taken now. Darn near 150,000 views from people interested in my point of view in 10 countries? There are blogs out there that would take a lifetime to generate those kind of numbers. Trust me when I say I'm thankful to God for the gift He has blessed me with, but come on...how did all of this happen??? 

I remember March 20th being the beginning of what is still a wow moment for me. A post I made on my Facebook page which has over 150,000 comments by itself, went viral and started the relationship revolution. I checked it about an hour ago Sunday September 8th, and it is STILL getting comments and shares. From that day, I went from what was averaging monthly 200 views to now 14,600. Crazy numbers, right? I get all the stats on every blog (who reads it, the countries that are reading it, which stories you read, whether you use your phone, your desktop, using windows, MAC, android, Blackberry, iPad, smoke signal, carrier pigeon, whatever you can imagine...there is a statistic for it and I get it all! Doing this blog has become more than just me, its become a reference on what to do and what not to do. Sure its about my life sometimes, but it has also become advisory, comedic, controversial, informative, and a little foolish to let off some frustration. Whatever it has become to you, I thank you for reading along and making it what it has become.

For the most part, I write every weekend what will be published for the week, but I couldn't do what I do without the 26 guest blogger who have taken a tremendous amount of pressure off me by helping a brother out. At first it was just a few of my friends who I convinced to write a little something for me, but then I started getting emails from all over the world from people who had relative things to say about their relationships as well. So it has become a conversation stage that some in the relationship world are paying attention to. Let me offically say to all of you who have written, read along, encouraged me both publicly and privately, coached me when I wanted to quit, supported me when I was right, and told me a thing or two when I was wrong, I thank you for it all, and I couldn't have done it without you. Most of you will never understand just how many times I was tired and wanted to quit, how frustrating and painful it is to make my failures public. What I've experienced in my life, some people will NEVER come close to imagining it, yet alone experience it...but I continue to write it because I truly believe in love (even when I failed at it myself), and I truly believe in what love has to offer when the right person and the right opportunity present itself.

As for the motivation I receive from why I write what I write, all I can say is thank you to the one that wrote within the margins of those books that opened my eyes and started my process. I remember you saying that change to me isn't change to you until YOU see the change. That probably was the most profound statement I ever heard you say, next to saying that you now see that change in me 11 years after our divorce. We make a great team as parents and partners, which is why you'll always be "The One" for me as I continue to become the right person and the right opportunity for you. Thank you, and I love you more than you'll ever know. Happy Bloggerversary Relationship Lessons, I hope you've learned something with me along this journey. It can only get better as we get older, but we've come a long way from fourteen sentences a year ago...

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