Twitter at times can be one of the most useful tools ever for a
writer. For me, it seems to give me random inspirations. It was last
week that I came across a tweet from a young lady. It wasn’t directed at
me, it was just her thinking out loud. I won’t disclose her name, but
it got me to thinking. Now I may be paraphrasing but it read: “There’s
this guy I really like and we really get along great but he says we
can’t be together because of my past.” Now for the record, when this
young lady refers to her past, I don’t know what she’s referring to. I
can put two and two together, and have a good idea of what she’s
referring to. I don’t know this woman, but what I DO know is that she seems
to have known this guy for a bit, and that she feels that her worst days of her past are behind her. After having read that, I happened to see another tweet
that read “Be honest about your past, but never honor it above your
present and your future. Love YOU more in 2014. #Nextdecisionbetter.”
That tweet echoes many of my sentiments in a nutshell.
As a man, I’m very much aware of how men internalize a woman’s past
whether it be infidelity, promiscuity, or deceit. I just feel that we
can’t treat all cases the same for a number of reasons. First off, I
simply think that we all deserve the opportunity to improve our lives.
No matter what we've done, we deserve a chance to get things right - In this woman’s case I’m not saying that this guy should have to
take her on. I am saying that this young lady deserves the chance to be
happy like anyone else if she has grown from past experiences. I know scenarios like this always come down to a matter of
preference. I know many of the fellas who do read this site might feel
like “later for her.” You’re well within your rights to feel however
you like. It just boggled my mind that we can define a person totally
solely off a part of their life. We do this while not considering any
other facet of their being. Is a sexual history the only barometer at
which we should measure compatibility of mates? Does nothing else
matter? Better yet, isn’t it possible that people can change?
I participated in a Twitter chat last week, and the debate on that night was good girls versus bad girls. This debate is
one that always seems to come around the bend when talking about what men want. A main part of the discussion
was clearly defining what was a good woman and what was a bad one. With
the scenario I brought forth today, I ask all of you...if a bad woman can turn good, is it possible then for the woman in my story
to be given a chance?
We have all done things that we aren’t proud of - I guess I’m sticking up for the ladies who are just trying to get it
right.To be fair, as a man I will never be scrutinized as much as a
woman. I just feel like men as a whole think there’s only one way to
skin a cat. We think we have all the answers. We can perfectly weed out
bad girls from the good ones. It’s reminiscent of me telling ladies that
they can’t weed out all bad men through celibacy. There’s never a
foolproof way to know it all.
Ultimately it’s our choice who we decide to commit to - In making that choice, I think it’s important to note that it’s your
happiness that matters. I’m a firm believer in making
decisions for yourself. If things go awry, then there’s a lesson to be
learned. It’s alright to note that things can end up really well.
To my ladies reading this, have you ever been in this situation? To the gentlemen reading this, do you feel like you're being judged over the dead issues of your past? What
I see from this story is a woman who isn’t shying from her faults. She embraces
her truth and in that has some disappointment. Have you ever
missed out on someone due to what they considered being a checkered past? I asked this question on my Facebook page a couple of days ago, and I received some interesting feedback. If
you can’t get with my thought process I understand. I just wanted to
voice my concerns on the topic...
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