Its funny how life works. Most of my adult life has had its ups and downs, quite typical of adults I guess, but my ups and my downs have been with one person in particular. I tried to do the common thing that most divorcees do and make a life without the one you married after it failed, but for some reason my life has always had her in it. When I say it has always had her in it, I mean it has ALWAYS had her in it. She has given me advice on other relationships, what birthday gift to buy another woman's child, I have encouraged her when she was at her lowest relationship point. Overall, we remained consistent to each other, even more so after the divorce. We are teammates in raising a son, and all of the immaturity that has dominated me and her (more me than her), has propelled us into a more adult lifestyle now.
I had to take a moment to laugh because my father turned 75 over the weekend, and my family had a celebration bringing everyone together under one roof which is hard to do with a family like mine. I have two sisters and two brothers, one married almost 30 years and another married almost 3 months in attendance with their wives. My older sister's daughter was in Vermont for school and couldn't come, but my younger sister's daughter and her boyfriend came and for a minute it had me thinking...anyone who is with someone is in this house at the same time, and here I was by myself. As we were all gathered, my son walks in just as tall as almost everyone in the room at 12. Everyone just laughing and talking with him so much took all of the pressure off of her when she quietly walked in the room. I think she has not been in a room with my entire family since the divorce. It took one person to call her name out, and everyone went into a high pitch welcome full of hugs and embraces that I have to admit I've never seen before. You would think that if a person was divorced, they would be stoic in welcoming that man or woman in any family gathering. Not this family, and not for this woman.
What makes this one The One? In the time since our divorce, I've been with women in relationships and even in marriage, and my parents only know one woman's name...her name. Whoever I would eventually introduce to them was measured by one woman's standard...her standard. My parents and my family, who mean everything to me absolutely love this woman without missing a beat. I'm not saying we are a couple or even soon to being a husband and wife again, but I am saying that out of the years we've had together (26 years in total), if there was anything she needed from me...she knows I got her. I am also saying that if there was anything I needed from her...I know that she's got me as well. She proved that to me just by coming to honor my Pop. My family may not be the best depiction of what it should be all the time, but what we do know how to keep family a family no matter what. For my family to say at my Pop's birthday celebration that even after 11 years divorced, she will always be a member of this family just blew me away. Leave it to my own family to give me their version of a relationship lesson...
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