At one time or another dating was easy. It was about going out with
someone and having fun. There was no pressure when it came to dating.
But nowadays, it seems as if women are really putting the pressure on
these men and expecting some type of committed relationship after two or three of weeks of dating. Even though there are different situations
when it comes to dating, one thing’s for sure, many women tend to make
the same mistake. And since most men think in sports terms when it comes
to women, I thought I’d do the same. So I’m breaking down my opinion
on common instances that come up while dating a guy, and how women mess
things up from a sports aspect.
At some point, the question of why each of you are single comes up.
He lets you know he’s single by choice, not ready for the responsibility
of a girlfriend, or he’s still working on himself. Naturally women
accept these answers and agree with him that they too are doing the same
thing and not tripping about a relationship. FOUL! If
you know that’s not how you feel, why agree? Why not let him know your
expectations? When you agree with him and add the extra “I’m not looking
to get into a relationship either,” you’ve basically agreed to be
friends until his further notice.
Sometimes women begin to formulate the thought that she can change him. TECHNICAL FOUL!
When will women learn that you can’t change a man? A man makes the
change for himself. The only thing a woman can change about a man is his
style of dress and the décor of his living quarters and that’s as close
as you’re going to get. In your eyes, you can be the best thing that
came into his life, but if he’s not ready to settle down he’s not going
to. If anything, he’ll have the luxury of having a friend doing
girlfriend-like duties.
Months have passed and things are going well, then something clicks
and for whatever reason a woman needs more. All of a sudden you need a
title to justify the relationship. So you take it upon yourself to do
the top 3 offenses:
Offense #1: you ask him “what is this” or “what are we
doing” and “where do you see us?”
Offense #2: you express to him now
that you don’t date to date and you date with purpose and you don’t want
to feel like you’re wasting your time.
Offense #3: you tell him you
stopped dealing with other guys for and/or because of him.
EJECTED! Being ejected is simple, it just means while playing in the dating
game, you demonstrated serious offenses and must be sent to the locker
room to think about what you did. Doesn’t mean that you won’t play in
future games by continuing to date him, but you might not get as much
playing time. Basically it might not be as good as it was because he may
not be on the same page as you and now he knows you want a
relationship.
As stated before, there are all types of different situations when it
comes to dating. I do think a lot of women get ahead of themselves
and cause their own hurt and pain. They get caught in their feelings and let
feelings get the best of the situation. Learn to suppress your
feelings with a thing called reality. The reality is you may not end up
with that person. When first getting to know him, express how you feel
about dating and if he’s not on board, no love lost. Changing a man is
not going to happen so quit trying! If he treats you right without the title,
stop stressing about it and stop pressing him about it. My question to you is, do you need
it to justify your happiness? Women have to understand throughout all of
this you have a choice: stay or go. The beautiful part about dating is
you’re just dating. Therefore you have no obligation to this person,
which means you can cut ties at any time.
I honestly feel that men appreciate and respond better to a woman who
isn’t waiting on them and who doesn’t feel like she’s wasting her time.
This is the woman that rarely presses the relationship talk, but she knows how to deliver it if she has to. This is the woman that doesn’t
question his whereabouts, why he hasn’t called,
and why they don’t spend a lot of time together. This is the woman that has her own thing going on...it’s called
"her own life". I really believe that the woman who plays her position
will have a better chance of coming out on top with that championship
title and ring that every woman eventually wants...
twitter.com/RShipLessons
This Friday night, I will be a part of an amazing panel talking
about dating, sex and relationships with Crystal and Ally from "7
Minutes with God" at Cafe Say in Chicago. If you're in the area, you
might want to come on out for some real relationship talk. See you then!
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