When you find the one you feel like you’ve been waiting for all your
life, it’s not surprising that you’d want to hold on tight. Your
relationship is something that should be cherished, and you’re likely
wary of anything that could harm it or take it away from you. But
sometimes, the person in the relationship can be so concerned with
keeping the relationship, that they actually begin harming it.
It can also be difficult to stay positive about finding love amid
reports about how often people commit infidelity. Just recently, AdamEve.com shared survey results
indicating that one in every three people admit to cheating in
relationships. So, again, how does one stay positive here? But then
there’s also this question: At what point do normal insecurities become
too much? Everyone occasionally has jealously flare up or pangs of doubt, but
there are ways you can help deal with these emotions instead of letting
them impede on your relationship.
1. Talk About It - It’s important to have self-reflective conversations with yourself
before talking with your partner in order to learn how to better manage
your emotions and thoughts. The next time you feel your insecurities
creeping up, first ask yourself why you’re feeling this way. Has your
partner done anything to cause this? Is this feeling counterintuitive to
the state of your relationship? If you still find a specific issue nagging at you, calmly bring the issue up with your partner. Dr. Jeanne Segal contributed to an article on HelpGuide.org,
which stated that the most important aspect to positive communication
with your partner is being able to listen. When sitting down and
discussing your concerns, you have to be open and receptive to what your
partner is saying. Challenging what they’re saying as untrue will
hinder the conversation, rather than lead to a positive conclusion. And
remember, your partner has nothing to gain from lying to you about their
commitment. They are with you because they want to be—no one is forcing
them.
2. Learning to Trust - One of the most important aspects of a relationship is trust. If you
can trust your partner, then their words of reassurance should be enough
to put your mind at ease. If you still find the issue in the forefront
of your mind, it could be because you’re not as confident in their
sincerity. But if they haven’t given you any reason to doubt them, it’s a
good idea to reaffirm whether or not your concern could be due to your
own insecurities. Do you trust your partner in every other way besides how they feel
about you and your relationship? If so, it’s likely that you’re just
experiencing some self-doubt. If you feel you can’t trust them in other
aspects, there could be deeper issues that you both need to discuss.
3. Ask for Help - A study on insecurities from PsychologyToday.com reported that if you find yourself questioning why
your partner would love you or you’re unable to believe that they do
love you, “your emotions and actions” will be influenced by your
insecurities. “You can’t believe you could be truly loved and so you
test your partner every chance you get” in order for them to demonstrate
their value, according to the article. They also said that it’s
possible these thoughts and subsequent actions can lead you to sabotage
the relationship because you believe your partner will leave anyway. If you find yourself constantly testing your partner or even
convincing them that they don’t love you, it might be time to ask for
some help from a neutral party such as a counselor. Asking for help
doesn’t make you weak. If anything, having a place to vent and work
through problems will make you a stronger person overall, and it will
strengthen your relationship for the better.
Relationships should make your life happier, not keep you up at night
concerned about the commitment of your partner. Ask for help, talk with
them about it, and get in touch with the reason behind your emotions.
You, your partner, and your relationship as a whole will be much better
in the long run...
1 comment:
Insecurities be it in a relationship or professional terms can always lead to problems that one doesn't think of rather they are automatically created. A proper emphasis on problems and consultation with counselors can certainly help.
Ashburn Marriage Counseling
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