Last week I
went out with someone to go see the movie “Top Five”. It was a good time, and the movie fascinated
me for a few reasons. None of those reasons really correlate with this
post, so maybe another time we’ll get into that. More importantly, I’m
here today to tell you a short story. I happened to make a great impression
on someone without even realizing it, but once it was brought to my attention, I
thought it would be great to share here. Hopefully you all will swing this
post to the fellas you think may need it.
I bought the movie tickets ahead of time. This is a custom for me when it comes to
opening night flicks. The movie was to show at 8:00 p.m. When we reached
the theater at 8, the show at the theater said it was showing at 7:40
p.m. So we ended up having to get passes for a 9:30 show. So we had
about an hour to kill, and I suggested that we go get some sushi. So we
head over to Tokyo Lunchbox and got a couple of the chef's special fire rolls and
ordered some drinks. Her and I began to talk, and we casually touched on all kinds of things, real light stuff.
We ended up seeing the movie on time and went on to have an enjoyable
evening. In the day that followed, her and I started
talking about the evening and she said some thing to me that made me
laugh. She said “You didn’t ask me any creepy sex questions out of the
blue.” I asked if that was something she has experienced more than she
had liked. She said yes. I asked her if it was something she experienced
with younger men, and she said that she has dated older men who were
“creepy” that way as well.
It dawned on me that this thing isn’t age sensitive. Maybe there are a lot of guys out there who
are talking themselves out of some good situations. I told her she gave
me something to say for this week, and she totally understood. Maybe it would help to have an idea
of things to talk about with women on a first date. So here’s a short
list of topics that won’t make your first date your last:
1. Interests - Sounds
pretty basic right? Believe it or not, most of us have many interests.
There is no way that everyone knows everything that we’re interested in.
This is a time to speak about interests, more importantly the ones that
you share the least. There could be a lot of common ground there. This
also opens the floor to talk about past experiences etc.
2. Most Embarrassing Moments - I always think that this is a lighthearted way to break the ice. When
you share embarrassing experiences, there is some vulnerability
involved. Hopefully in turn they will want to know your most
embarrassing moment. That way you all could be even and share a laugh
about silly times past.
3. Passions - It’s fun to
talk about passions. The more interesting thing about these
conversations is what led people to feel as strongly about certain
things. There’s so much depth to a conversation like this too. The idea
is to keep each other engaged sharing these ideas.
4. Dating History - Ask
someone about their experiences while dating. Do they have an optimistic
view on dating? If they don’t, then you can ask them why. Figure out what grinds her
gears and what doesn’t...at least on the surface.
5. Swap Drunk Stories -
It’s always entertaining recalling drunk nights. it’s fun recalling
crazy parties. Keep the date as fun as possible. Now if she has a bad
drunk experience stemming from a sad experience then I apologize for mentioning it. More
times than not, this can turn into a thirty-five minute conversation
filled with all kinds of random stuff. But it’s this kind of stuff that
can be a breath of fresh air for someone.
The young lady I went out with said that a
guy asked her “What’s the freakiest thing you’ve ever done?” before the
server poured the water! I laughed in amazement. My guy didn’t even wait
till they got a little buzz going. The name of the game is to be
clever. We all know what’s up. There’s nothing new under the sun. She
knows you have an attraction, it’s our job as guys to be respectable and
just make it interesting. It’s an opportunity here to show our depth
rather than scare someone off who could easily get you all wrong. This
is no race, no one cares who you’re going after. Just run your race and run
it your way.
I simply wanted to give some options as to what you could touch on in conversation on a first date. Simple things that can easily make the date
more fun than it had the potential of having. This guideline may ease
any angst you might have going out with anyone for the first time. It’s
important to be able to be appreciated, and be more than just horny
dogs…they know all about that side of us. The above list isn’t all of
course. Do men try to overly push sex conversations on you on a first date? What are some other first date conversations that you think would be fun and appropriate?
My advice is to go with the flow. Drive with the traffic, you’ll know when to exit the information highway, but in the
meantime enjoy the drive. Leave your stories and some suggestions in the comments below...
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