Relationships are by far our greatest teachers. When we are in love
with someone, we always have the hope that this person could be the one
we spend our lives with. Each relationship starts off with that hope and
intention, which is why it is extremely painful when it ends. The
greatest thing about each relationship we have is that it serves as a mirror
for where we need to grow. Here are Five Reasons Why No Relationship is a Waste of Time:
#1 The wrong relationship prepares us for the right one. The relationships which do not stand the test of time always have a
gift for us. We can look at what didn’t work in this relationship and
become clearer about how we want our next relationship to look. Once we
have that image, we have grown into a new idea about what love is and
can be.
#2 If a relationship didn’t bring us what we wanted, it did teach us what we didn’t want. Knowing what kind of treatment we don’t want, makes us very clear on
the kinds of treatment that we do want. This is a great way to develop new
standards by which we want to love as we are more aware of what we will
accept and what we will not.
#3 We learn about our patterns. We can deny it all we want, but we bring our old patterns into each relationship. When we start
repeating patterns that create arguments, chaos, rejection or
abandonment, we can use these lessons to see what we need to change and
where we need to grow. It really isn’t about changing our partners,
because they are not responsible for the patterns we bring into our
relationships. There is nothing more valuable than going into a
relationship and learning how our patterns contributed to its demise.
#4 Self-respect. When we are in a relationship, we can either gain self-respect or lose
it, depending on how we allow ourselves to be treated. Relationships
are the best places to learn where and how we need to respect ourselves.
We learn that we do not do anyone any favors by allowing ourselves to
be taken advantage of. We learn what our limits are, and we act upon
those limits by asserting ourselves when we have been hurt. Our
relationships give us the arena to learn to act on our own behalf in an
effort to step into our value.
#5 Grief promotes growth. Life is a process of beginnings and endings. Whenever a relationship
ends we experience its loss, and we tend to identify strongly with those we
love. When the relationship ends, we have to get back to ourselves,
deal with loneliness for a while and lean into those uncomfortable
emotions. When we are in pain, we are growing and this is what gets us
more strongly identified as individuals. Each loss in our life is meant
to bring us into a closer relationship with ourselves and where we need
to mature, grow, love ourselves and become more confident. As we take
each relationship for what it is, we will see that the learning to come
from each is invaluable as a mirror to learning about ourselves.
Relationships are the playground where love, self-esteem, insecurity,
worth and value all get to play and help define each other. As these
states all intermingle and we combine and try out different mixtures, we
soon come up with a working formula of what works best for us in
relationships...
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