Welcome to the age of endless options and unlimited swipes. We are all well aware that our generation’s way of dating is unique. We communicate through screens, easily hide our true feelings, and participate
in a series of never-ending games. More so, we have pre-concieved mindsets on
love and dating. While some of us are eager to connect, the rest of us would rather commit to
all 11 seasons of “Grey's Anatomy” before settling down with one person. Despite our personal habits and preferences, there’s one question that still
remains. How heavily do our attitudes affect our potential to have a
relationship?
Typically, there are two different groups we land in: the optimists and the
pessimists. Optimists and pessimists usually create a divide within our society. A
pessimist by definition, believes the evil or hardships in life outweigh the
good or luxuries. On the other end of the spectrum, we define an optimist as one who
tends to look on the more favorable side of events and expects the most
desirable outcome. While the pessimists are constantly anticipating the worst, optimists are
only envisioning the best. Of course, someone can be optimistic about work, and at the same time be
extremely pessimistic when it comes to love. Although most studies show optimism has its health benefits, the let-down is
far easier with some good ol’ pessimistic thinking.
So what if an optimist falls for a pessimist, or vice versa? For the vast majority who are stuck in their ways, many might view dating
his or her opposite as a force not to be reckoned with. After all, changing somebody else’s attitude is even harder (if not damn
near impossible) than changing your own. In a perfect world, we would all be realists. But perfect is hardly a word
we use to describe our world, especially when it comes to commitment and
relationships. So which side do we pick? Which mindset is the “right” one when it comes to
playing the dating game?
Optimists - Optimists are motivated by their dreams and enjoy making big things happen. They are the ones in the pilot seats, and when it comes to dating, they are
the ones who go for it. They operate on blind ambition and a hell of a lot of
hope. While this may sound negative, these qualities translate to
confidence in the dating world, which brings me to my next point: Confidence is
hot, and pretty much always works in your favor. Optimists know what they want and they don’t keep their hearts locked in
cages. They’re go-getters who only want the real thing and are never afraid to try. Plus, one of the oldest adages in the book says, “you miss 100 percent of
the shots you don’t take” (thank you, Wayne Gretzky). The optimists might experience a wider range of emotions and get hurt more
often, but at least they have faith. As long as they don’t get lost in their own version of reality, they are
pretty good at getting knocked down and getting back up again.
Pessimists - In the dating world, a pessimist doesn’t like to waste their time
wondering if the person they are seeing likes him or her. They aren’t plucking daisies reciting “he loves me, he loves me not” while walking down the street. They have already decided, all men are dogs and all women are crazy.
They would most likely rather have pizza than deal with real feelings. Pessimists impose purposeful ignorance and are particularly good at fooling
themselves. Often, they protect their hearts and keep their guards up because
there is no such thing as love, and the odds say that most relationships fail
anyway, right? A true pessimist does not understand why anyone would want to put him or
herself out there because “caring” only leads to stress and over
analyzing. Even worse, you become invested in something that hasn’t even begun. C’mon now, who would willingly want to put themselves out there and
risk the unbearable, unendurable, unsupportable and never-ending feeling called
heartbreak? In their minds, it’s much easier to close themselves off and go along with
the “corrupt” hook-up culture. They give up and keep their options readily
available. Truthfully, there is no “right” mindset. But whichever side of the spectrum
you see yourself on, it’s a good idea to take some advice from the other. By having yin and yang qualities within,
your love life will withhold a healthy and balanced outlook.
The Bottom Line - Optimists: Guard your hearts a little better, or you’ll end up with quite a
mess. Not everyone deserves a piece of it, so treat it like a prize. Think of
it like the Stanley Cup (go Blackhawks!) or a limited-edition Birkin bag. Pessimists: Let your feelings out of their cages every once in a while. Stop being
chicken and give them a chance. You might be pleasantly
surprised...
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